As part of our focus on violence against women and girls during 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Violence, this week’s SoroptiVoice blog by Cheryl Fouts of SI Northeast Suburban Franklin County (USA) looks at the issue of adolescent dating violence and what Soroptimists in the US are doing to tackle it.
Cheryl Fouts has been a Soroptimist since 1992. Cheryl’s aunt,
Ilse Greer, was president of SIA from
1982-1984 and her daughter is also a Soroptimist, continuing the family tradition! Cheryl
was a chartering member of Soroptimist International of Northeast Suburban
Franklin County in 1997 and has served
in many capacities at the club and region level, including Governor from 2010-2012. She is the owner of a concrete construction
company, sTi Construction, in Columbus, Ohio.
Cassie
and Mike have been dating for about one month.
One night they are going to go to the movies and when Mike comes to pick
up Cassie, Mike questions the outfit she has on. Cassie says she has just
purchased the outfit for their date.
Mike pats her on the shoulder and says, I don’t know why I love you so
much. I have to do everything for you. Then he goes to Cassie’s room and picks
out a different outfit. Cassie is in tears, but she changes her clothes.
This is a scenario of one type of teen dating violence. Control of your
partner.
There is no discrimination among victims of
teen dating violence. One in three teens
will become a victim and it doesn’t matter what race, gender, religion, culture
or sexual orientation they are.
What a staggering number! What a sad topic
to discuss. However, statistics for the USA show
that 1.5 million teens experience physical abuse from a dating partner. One in
ten high school students have been hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend
or girlfriend. The violence can be
physical, emotional, verbal or sexual.
Teens never want to admit to being in a
relationship that is hurtful and disrespectful to themselves or others. Many reasons exist for violence and teens
aren’t aware of the red flags sent by an abuser. Teens want to be loved and needed and to be
“free” to experiment with relationships.
A lack of awareness by parents and our
communities about teen dating violence exists whether we want to admit it or
not. We may be aware that something is
not quite right with our sons or daughters, but we can’t put our finger on the
problem. Red flags pop up about our
youth and we need to ask some difficult questions. Why is Janice not coming over anymore?
What is that bruise on your arm? Are you having trouble with your math
class, your grades seem to be dropping?
Why are you staying in your room all the time? The list goes on as to what we should be
asking. Educating ourselves and our
teens about teen dating violence should be a priority in order to break the
cycle.
SIA has a white paper and model program kit
detailing the issues of teen dating violence.
I encourage all readers to take a look and mold the program to your
community. Serious problems arise with
the victims of teen dating violence; the victims become candidates for eating
disorders, substance abuse, further sexual or physical abuse, low achievement,
and suicide.
Midwestern Region Soroptimists have banded together to educate their communities, parents, teens, and teachers about teen
dating violence. Johanna Orozco, a survivor, of teen dating violence was a guest speaker at the 2012 Midwestern
Region Spring Conference. Johanna was shot in the face by her boyfriend, Juan, after she told him they could no
longer see each other. Debbie Norris, mother of victim, Heather Norris, related the story of her daughter’s murder by
her boyfriend in 2005. Two very horrific stories, but two that needed to be told. Teen dating Violence exists and if we
don’t educate our young people about it, how many other young women and men
will be harmed? Because of Johanna and
Debbie the following laws have been enacted in Indiana and Ohio.
Heather’s Law requires the Indiana
Department of Education, in collaboration with organizations that have expertise
in dating violence, domestic violence and sexual abuse, to develop or identify
model dating violence educational materials, and model dating violence response
and reporting policies. Ohio Substitute House Bill 19, also known as the “Tina
Croucher Act” or “Tina’s Law,” was signed into law December 28, 2009, and took
effect March 29, 2010. It amends several portions of existing Ohio law in order
to require Ohio public school districts to incorporate and address dating
violence in their policies and programming. Schools were required to implement
the law’s new requirements as of September 29, 2010.
Image: SI Fond du Lac members with Debbie Norris, mother of Heather Norris who was murdered by her boyfriend.
Soroptimist International of Fremont initiated the Trap Program (Teen Relationship Abuse
Prevention) and with a grant from SIA they were able to educate all the school
administrators in Sandusky County about Tina’s Law . They provided a resource workbook for
instructors to assist teens with abuse prevention education. A program designed
by Liz Clairborne “Love is Not Abuse” was included along with other resources.
Another club, SI NE Suburban Franklin County, sponsors an S club.
This year with a grant from the Gahanna Education Foundation and Jewish Family
Services, a Safe Dates Program, has
been initiated. Thirty young women are involved with the program and will
become ambassadors for prevention of teen dating violence. The program is designed from Hazeldon’s Safe
Dates Guide.
Other clubs in the region have also been involved in educating
their school districts and teens about the
warning signs, effects and resources for help associated with teen
dating violence.
Become an advocate for the teens in your community. Educate them that love=respect.
Resources you may want to enlist for help with your program, include:
SIA Resources:
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